The Simple Things Make a Boomerang Happy

Let's have a chat about rejection. Today, I was rejected. And yet, you think, the title of this post is suggestive of something positive, why? 

Well, dear readers, first thing this morning HR called me, asked me about my vacation, had a laugh and then she explained that the promotion I had applied for went to an outside candidate. Bummer right? Yes, the money would have been nice, the hours would have been nice, the whole thing would have been nice. But my follow up email after my interview was met with doubt, for lack of experience.

What made me happy about the phone call was the sheer fact that someone picked up the phone and said "hey, thanks for trying but we went with that other guy." How hard was it? Probably not very. Yet, it is the third response saying as much that I have received in the last two years. The first one came in an email the day before my second interview for the position, the second came in the form of a formal letter and the third was today's phone call.

So please other rejecters, take note, Boomerangs and our fellows can handle it, so stop our wondering and just tell us. Thank you.

Leave it to a Boomerang to Swing Back

Mood wise. I'm pretty positive I'm not going back to the job unless big things change.

But today is a good day. I got checked out by the tiny African man at the Jiffy Lube, always feels good, my oil is changed, I went on a date, I went to Target and showed restraint, I ordered a tall coffee instead of a grande. These are all good things!

Today was a good day.

Last week was a string of fiascoes that, more or less, were just a cosmic kick in the pants. So what if my check engine light and ABS light came on at the same time. So what if I was pulled over fifteen minutes after the lights in my dash came on because I was without tail lights. So what if I couldn't find my driver's license when he asked for it (always check between the seat and the console, because chances are when you dumped your purse out to find your keys that is exactly where it landed). So what if the straw finally broke the camel's back at the second job I need but hated.

I fixed the fuse to my taillights myself. I found my driver's license. I didn't get ticketed. I'm happier out of that second job.

This is all motivation to move forward, move toward something new. I can start hitting the gym like I used too. I can start applying to jobs like I used too. I can go out on nights that I used to work on. I am better now.

I just need a fortune cookie to spell everything out for me.

Boomerangs Make Snap Decisions Well

Or not. And if I'm being honest with you I probably shouldn't be posting anything about this, for fear of it hurting future chances of employment. Or not.

It has at this point, I feel, been established that I have two part-time jobs. Now I have one. Today is the Fourth of July and seeing as I am an apple pie-loving, baseball-watching, farmer-tanned, red-blooded American, who woke up with two jobs, I went to work. As I'm driving on back roads to avoid all the parade routes and pedestrians who are having fun and not being safe near moving vehicles I pick up my beeping phone. My job had called.

Apparently I was late. The girl who had given me my schedule last week had messed up and I was supposed to be at work at 12:15 PM not 2:15 PM. I call work back and explain the mistake, tell them I'm on my way, I'll be there in 20 minutes. The response back was an unpleasant "We'll discuss it when you get here." So my mood, already low, is soured. I am one of the people who 97% of the time is punctual and the other 3% is with 15 minutes and I felt bad for being an hour late but am a good worker bee and would make up the hour I missed at the beginning of my shift by staying late.

At some point someone blabbed over the headset that all the breaks were done. I pointed out that despite being late, even if I didn't make up any of the time I had missed at the beginning of my shift that I worked a long enough shift to require a break. No one responded and I didn't get a break.

But more unhappy things are going down, the manager took the day off but all the lower management is in the store most of whom are acting as if they own us. I hear from one of my co-workers (the newest sales lead at that) that after I called in there was a little chat about me lying. Which is funny because I'm a horrible liar so I stick to telling the truth like nobody should and that is one of the reasons there are a few people who do not like me at the store I work(ed) in. Some funny things went down with my numbers from yesterday, petty stuff. But petty stuff is becoming a problem so I made comment to the Co-Manager (fancy name for crazy assistant manager who calls you at all hours of the night drunk) about the changing of numbers and accusations of lying and she assured me that they would have chats.

And I can only imagine what chats were had.

So I'm folding tables, because people shopping on holidays are absolute pigs, and up storm to me eyes blood shot and voice in that strange raised whisper (didn't stay low for long either) and then:

Her: "Just so you're not made at me I gave you that card* under your number!"
Me (and I'm seething that this is happening so my left eye is rolling around in my head) "Good. Because it's mine."
Her (yelling)"Blah, Blah, Blah, It's mine. Blah, Blah, Blah, I didn't change the numbers."
Me: "So after last night K******* came in and changed the numbers?"
Her: "I don't know who changed the fucking numbers, I don't give a flying fuck about the cards (out right lie) something something fucking something blah blah blah. Next time you can fucking walk out."
At this point I've stopped being calm and started handling things badly. I've thrown a sweater in this woman's face (zing!), taken off my holiday apron which held my walkie-talkie and chucked on to a not so near by table and stormed out.

Embarrassingly I had to go back to get my purse. I slammed my locker, but didn't talk to anyone. And now I have one job.

Future employers who may read this don't hold this against me, just know that I will not take it. Fair is fair, professional is professional and I am not a liar.

Also, walking out was the best thing I've done in a long while.





*Credit Cards are the main thing that goes in our performance review, the problem is there are a few people who take credit for cards when other people "sell" them. The day before this happened I had "sold" a card to a customer who had said she wasn't interested initially (thus my card as it has been discussed many many many times). The lady who would confront me later believed that I had given it to her, so when she found out I hadn't she flipped out on the only other manager working, who is not the manager. This morning I came in and found the official numbers changed. I don't care about the cards so much as I care about the sneakiness and lying.

A Boomerang Tilted in the Correct Direction is a Smile

Some good things have come my way in the last week or so, which is nice because I was beginning to despair again, but the universe has tilted in my favor and gumption has paid off. After a few nerve wracking days of HR trying to get a hold of me, she finally showed up "to say hi" today. I know I haven't done anything wrong, but with the last few months of drama fueled HR visits and despicable old lady behavior I was worried accusations were flying again.

But my worry was undue, much to my relief. HR pulled me into the conference room for a chat and suggested I apply for a job, a higher paying, full-time, more important job. HR thought of me when making the job posting and personally invited me to apply (that is redundant, I know, but I'm still waiting for it to sink in).

I filled out my application and giggled a little bit, half of the application is reminders that you have to be in your position for at least six months before you are allowed to apply for other positions within the company. I have not been with the company for six months, let alone in my position. Though not all rules apply all the time, I'm still super stoked that I'm breaking one that is laid out quite seriously in several places.

This opportunity has me feeling a very good at the moment, though I'm sure I've said as much already. It's acknowledgement that despite what that commentator on CNN says my college education wasn't a waste of time or money or paper (though thats removing the context of the article). It's vindication for my hard work and drive. This year and a half of unmentionable disgust is beginning to clean itself up. I am having a good day, I am having a good week, I am having a good month.

To the fortune cooking being 12 next Mondays late but correct nonetheless.

Boomerangs Can Hope Too!

It's summer, if you hadn't noticed yet. The heat is amazing. The prospect of a vacation, doubly so. And as summer buds I'm working on becoming less down about this whole boomerang situation, it is hard though, a year and a half later, the other boomerangs are all flocking back to school to get higher and higher degrees and I'm trying to pay my minimal rent from my two jobs wondering where I went wrong.

But I didn't, so that thought is banished and hope springs anew. This week has been full of a tiny bit of social promise and a social life is half the battle with this boomerang thing, that and it's kind of like networking which, if I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure I have a grip on. I'm running screaming from my second job this week, I'm tired and this week I have three (yes, three!) events.

Two are wedding related, one actually being a wedding, and the third is a concert, and I do love concerts. And in the whirlwind of my new found summer social life I got a call, just an old roomy throwing out the idea that we perhaps make a move in the fall. And though it is just throwing it into the universe it is an excellent idea, one that gives me renewed hope and panic, but in a good way.

When I went to college the one thing I learned about myself that kind of surprised me is that I love change, I love moving and discovering new places. I've spent the majority of my current 23 years in the same town that I am writing from at this very moment. And there are tons of awesome people here and even a few nice things but nothing has changed enough to keep this place alive for me.

So renewed hope don't let me down this time. Get me out of here and back into the real world if only for a little while.

The Boomerang and Competition

Congratulations to all of my friends who graduated over the last few weeks. And an even bigger congratulations to the few who have managed to line up employment, to the rest of you welcome to the back swing and do not apply to the same jobs as me.

Ok, friends, here's the story. I've been interviewing again. I'm not feeling super confident about any of my last few but I would like to note that I have had two editorial-related interviews since February that is only one less than the entirety of last year. But even with the pick up in frequency I am worried about the new influx of graduates who want jobs.

I have to be optimistic though, that the new grads are optimistic in their abilities and they'll be looking for higher positions where as at this point I'm ready to settle, in a way. That sounds cynical. But this job search has sucked up nearly two years of my life and is chipping away at me a little bit. My friends are certain that they have accomplished more than me and have better plans and I wouldn't doubt it. But I'm worried that at this stage in the game I'll be that person who resents anyone's success. I don't want to be that person.

I have, in the past, used competition to create a nice place for myself but what this competition has done to me is make me good at my current jobs. And I've frightened myself.

So new competition watch out. I'm on to you and I will win, eventually.

A Boomerang: The Diversity Seminar

My mother is a nurse. As a nurse my mother is expected to take so many credits per year to keep her education up to date and her certifications in order (I also have to update my certs every once in a while, I have four, count them four, in pants fit). Last night she came home after having a lunch seminar and explained that people are "so oblivious."

The seminar was a discussion of diversity, the area I live in is still quite homogeneous despite the huge growth it has seen in the last twenty or so years. The nurses and administrators discussed that on top of the language barriers that they deal with there are also education gaps and cultural differences. There was a discussion on the correlation between health and wealth (it's an obvious one, more money means better health insofar as better healthcare). People apparently couldn't understand why people who live below the poverty line or $15000/year have children, eat less healthy foods and have worse health issues than the majority of the people who, as it is the second richest county per capita this year with a median income of $112000/year, live above the poverty line.

But people aren't seeing past the Latino families that fit that picture and there are quite a few, but they see them as a blight something to put up with because if we didn't how would the grass get cut and the bathrooms get clean? But the reality is (with that stupid stereotype aside) the poor people in this area aren't just Latino. I live well below the poverty line and with the help of my mother I am not homeless or into illegal activity to get by. I am also white. Blond and blue eyed, white. I have health insurance. But this week I had to choose, an x-ray with a doctors visit with a co-pay of $50 or my student loans. My credit score suffers this month because of an accident. But my finger is not broken, rather it has a nasty bone bruise and I was right when last week I decided that broken or not I didn't have the money to take care of it.

When this was brought up during the seminar, and yes, my mom during a discussion said "I have a boomerang," before explaining my wiggle into diversity, some of the long time employees of the hospital were confused as to how a white girl could get into such a predicament, why didn't my mother help me out more?

Diversity isn't necessarily a racial/ethnic thing. Here, though understanding cultural differences couldn't help, socioeconomic diversity is the bigger issue. I am considered upper-middle class. I live well below the poverty line. My mother shares the same class distinction and makes a smidge more than half of the county median income. So why is our class so different than our income status? Maybe it's because hard work wins nice things or maybe it's because lucky us we live in a place where people don't see class as clearly as they do in other places. And it should be surprising that people who are well educated and work hard can't get ahead but it shouldn't be that surprising if you watch or read the news.

I am an example of what diversity training is for.

The Impossibility of a Budget

It is no secret that I work two jobs and still have trouble making ends meet. This fact is the major reason behind my living at home. So last payday when both my checks landed in my account at the same time (not a common occurrence) I decided to create a budget. I laid it all out and included everything including potential spikes in gas prices.

Tomorrow I am going to the hand surgeon, I didn't budget for breaking my finger, and I didn't budget for it to be getting worse instead of better as time continues. I have two specialist appointments this month and am wondering how I'm going to afford them.

I've given up tons to try to get ahead. I found a new hair dresser, which doesn't sound like much but as I am not in a particularly sound place in my life hair cuts cause an extreme anxiety. I changed and it worked out, but the twenty dollars I saved there isn't even enough to cover half of my co-pay before x-rays and follow ups.

I have a green elephant on my dresser, this elephant could help me with my financial woes. It doesn't hold a ton of money because it is a specific savings fund, the elephant is for a new computer and the hope of a deposit for a school or an apartment. I add to it whenever I have the chance but it doesn't grow very quickly. I eye it every few weeks and consider how helpful it could be. But I won't break into it unless it is an emergency.

How do I budget for the unexpected when most days I worry paying my rent and phone bill? How do I save for the future, and I'm not really talking about the distant future, without causing my bills to go unpaid today?

Boomerang Explained

As a child among all the bats and balls my brother, sisters and I had a pink plastic boomerang. As I was never adept at throwing it it held little more power than a frisbee and though I remember having it it definitely was not one of toys that I mourned when my mother gave it away long after my siblings and I had out grown it.

It wasn't even within my grasp when I threw that hunk of plastic that one day I would become the very thing that frustrated me. I am now a boomerang. I returned home over a year ago after being flung into the world. My brother and I have both landed home displaced and dissatisfied several times but he manages to get flung back out for short bits where as my temporary stay at home has me more a one-winged bird, flightless and hopping, than a boomerang. I have suffered a few setbacks, financially, emotionally and in some ways socially in the last year as I've been poised to be flung into the world but at home I sit.

I joke about it with my mother, telling her as she goes on dates to make sure to mention me quickly and often for it is always good for potential suiters to know what kind of weapons she has waiting at home. All joking aside she's ready for me to leave and I am too. It was 14 months ago when I unpacked my things into my youngest sister's room, unaltered from when she had left it for my bigger and more maturely decorated bedroom. My stay was supposed to be temporary. The room I live in still lacks any sense of me, because I am a guest in my own home, one who has overstayed her welcome but a guest nonetheless.

I had a few exciting moments in the beginning, I did a short internship and kind of fell in love with magazines. Not long after it ended I had an interview that looked promising, I was asked back for a second interview and the day before that interview took place I received an email explaining that I was no longer in the running for the job, they had hired internally. I was down trodden but given the economic clime and the other person's time invested I chalked up to experience and continued applying to two to five jobs a day. I had a few more interviews all without call backs of any nature, not even "Thanks but no thanks" emails. And as my one year home mark came into view I became very discouraged by the whole thing.

Though I have not given up completely I have changed gears, school is looking more and more interesting though it is still financially impossible. I have taken a second job to help cope with my finances and after only a month the clouds are beginning to break and I can feel the rays of hope warming the air around me. All sappy metaphors aside as much as I'm enjoying my new job it still stings of failure.

My plan is to suck it up a bit longer and put myself out there a little bit more.

Here's to hoping it works.