This is True, Just Not for Me

I spend hours at work reading things on the internet that are not related to my job or my continuing education (in the formal sense). I read from sources that more or less align with my world view, because I am human, and from a few reputable gossipy trash sites that the filters will let me get to. Some days I get little bits out of what I read, occasional history lessons, reasons to become a vegetarian and/or a better person, affirmations that i'm not a complete twat, confirmation that I am exactly the person that i don't want to be.

Last semester I took Psych 101, because I needed a fluffy class to flesh out all the harder sciences and numerous labs i was taking. My professor often sent out links to articles that he thought the class would find relevant, both personally and for the class. When I ran across an article on Slate about the inability for millennials to grow up I thought,"how fitting," and composed an email to my professor.

I never sent that email.

I read the article twice, I couldn't tell you why, and the first time through it was a very good assessment of the people I was surrounded by. The second time through hurt.

I am in some ways (thank goodness not all) this person.

Yes, at 26, I am a millennial. I don't like it but as far as discussing demographic I fall firmly into the first decade of this group. I am a product of the internet, of instant, of a very tiny world.

And like most millennials I am lost. You know that, you've read this blog once or twice and are well aware that i can and will bather on about myself and my lack of happiness and my inability to connect with people. I'm basically a narcissist, don't want to think that but it's more true than not so much so that in twenty or so years the DSM of the day will have eliminated narcissism because it'll be the norm.

That little break through isn't special, you've seen it before and you'll see it again.

Here I am at 26 working on what will probably be a second bachelors degree with the hopes of medical school. Part of me is already looking for something new, i am restless and tired of being broke. I like to label all of this as wanderlust.

Wanderlust is now defined as the avoidance of failure .



Does anyone want to fund a spring break trip for me?

The Boomerang and Competition

Congratulations to all of my friends who graduated over the last few weeks. And an even bigger congratulations to the few who have managed to line up employment, to the rest of you welcome to the back swing and do not apply to the same jobs as me.

Ok, friends, here's the story. I've been interviewing again. I'm not feeling super confident about any of my last few but I would like to note that I have had two editorial-related interviews since February that is only one less than the entirety of last year. But even with the pick up in frequency I am worried about the new influx of graduates who want jobs.

I have to be optimistic though, that the new grads are optimistic in their abilities and they'll be looking for higher positions where as at this point I'm ready to settle, in a way. That sounds cynical. But this job search has sucked up nearly two years of my life and is chipping away at me a little bit. My friends are certain that they have accomplished more than me and have better plans and I wouldn't doubt it. But I'm worried that at this stage in the game I'll be that person who resents anyone's success. I don't want to be that person.

I have, in the past, used competition to create a nice place for myself but what this competition has done to me is make me good at my current jobs. And I've frightened myself.

So new competition watch out. I'm on to you and I will win, eventually.