The Lazy Boomerang

Yesterday, I was at work and one of the regular clients came in and was chatting, they do this sometimes, and he brought up some current news topics. So he sidles on to the Occupy Wall Street protests and that is where the encounter goes south.

I should have learned by now that I am of a different world view than most of the people that I work with, live near, and am forced to interact with in a fake-smiley work way, and at this point I should have learned that the fake smiling gets me farther with people than opening my mouth and expressing an opinion. All that said, I am human and apparently like the abuse that comes with being a young adult that can't afford to live on their own.

So he blabs about the protesters being lazy, no-goods, and says, and this is a real quote, not something like a quote that I'm putting in quotation marks, "This is America, there are plenty of jobs, they can have any job they want." Ok, Herman Cain, whatever you say.

I stupidly said, "we (referring to my fellow teller and myself) only work three days a week," as in the company that we work for, that I actually like, doesn't have the money to employ full-timers, so I'm happy to have my sad hours instead of nothing, while I try to figure out what to do with the BA I earned in three and a half years. Though, I only said the stupid part, so when he called me lazy and said I should get a second job, I probably deserved it, right?

I don't think so.

But we're all entitled to our opinions and Fox News in a legitimate news source so I guess I should be happy he isn't completely ignorant.

For the record, I am many things but I am not lazy. I quit my second job because I was actually spending more money to get to it than I was making. I hated it, I hated myself while being there, I hated how I was treated by customers, I hated how I was treated by fellow employees and I hated how it looked on my resume. So I quit, I am picking up gigs that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise, I am picking up hours that I wouldn't have been able to pick up otherwise. I am still looking for a job that is both satisfying, interesting and pays enough (because I can't hold out for decently or even reasonably). And I've been called pretty twice in a week by people who had never seen me outside of my former work place. As in, "You're so pretty, that place must of been aweful! Look at you're smile!"

So I don't regret backing down to one part-time job. But walk a mile in my shoes.

Also the man is a small business owner. I don't have much money. He has the same amount as me in all of his accounts combined. He makes daily deposits that are twice the size of my savings account, so somehow I win.

That was mean. But I'm not lazy.

Job Sympathy for the Boomerang

In an interesting turn of events, the last few days have been filled with questions and condolences regarding a promotion I recently lost an outside hire (I was unqualified, I was considered based on personality and speed). I knew long before I was officially turned down that the woman I would have been assisting was looking elsewhere for that experience I didn't have, so when I got the call saying they had hired someone else (I know, first reject call in a long, well, ever) I wasn't terribly disappointed.

My boss, reassured me it was for the best, though I think he's being selfish about the whole thing. He needs me to edit the papers he has to write for the class he is taking, even he knows I'm in the wrong profession. And in quick passing the HR person in charge of the whole debacle expressed her deep sympathy over the whole thing. Like it was somehow her fault. It couldn't be.

I'm not sure how I feel about this now. I wanted the job for the money. I wanted it for the hours and the prospect of getting out of retail. But it's not a path I'd like to take, it's not me. I'm not numbers. I'm words. But the mounting number of rejections and the looming two year anniversary of my college graduation have me reeling. I'm digging myself deeper into the black hole that is a black mood and am having more and more trouble seeing the light.