The Lazy Boomerang

Yesterday, I was at work and one of the regular clients came in and was chatting, they do this sometimes, and he brought up some current news topics. So he sidles on to the Occupy Wall Street protests and that is where the encounter goes south.

I should have learned by now that I am of a different world view than most of the people that I work with, live near, and am forced to interact with in a fake-smiley work way, and at this point I should have learned that the fake smiling gets me farther with people than opening my mouth and expressing an opinion. All that said, I am human and apparently like the abuse that comes with being a young adult that can't afford to live on their own.

So he blabs about the protesters being lazy, no-goods, and says, and this is a real quote, not something like a quote that I'm putting in quotation marks, "This is America, there are plenty of jobs, they can have any job they want." Ok, Herman Cain, whatever you say.

I stupidly said, "we (referring to my fellow teller and myself) only work three days a week," as in the company that we work for, that I actually like, doesn't have the money to employ full-timers, so I'm happy to have my sad hours instead of nothing, while I try to figure out what to do with the BA I earned in three and a half years. Though, I only said the stupid part, so when he called me lazy and said I should get a second job, I probably deserved it, right?

I don't think so.

But we're all entitled to our opinions and Fox News in a legitimate news source so I guess I should be happy he isn't completely ignorant.

For the record, I am many things but I am not lazy. I quit my second job because I was actually spending more money to get to it than I was making. I hated it, I hated myself while being there, I hated how I was treated by customers, I hated how I was treated by fellow employees and I hated how it looked on my resume. So I quit, I am picking up gigs that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise, I am picking up hours that I wouldn't have been able to pick up otherwise. I am still looking for a job that is both satisfying, interesting and pays enough (because I can't hold out for decently or even reasonably). And I've been called pretty twice in a week by people who had never seen me outside of my former work place. As in, "You're so pretty, that place must of been aweful! Look at you're smile!"

So I don't regret backing down to one part-time job. But walk a mile in my shoes.

Also the man is a small business owner. I don't have much money. He has the same amount as me in all of his accounts combined. He makes daily deposits that are twice the size of my savings account, so somehow I win.

That was mean. But I'm not lazy.

Gossip: You Throw It Out and It Comes Right Back to You

I think I've made it clear how I feel about working retail, especailly my current retail job. My Independence Day blow up (which I turn a pretty shade of purple when talking about, I wonder what a psychologist would say about  mixed sense pride and shame?) is still haunting me. And I know, the situation is one of those that will take a bit to get to disappear, but the people that keep coming to me telling me its still being talked about aren't even people I work with. The people talking about the whole thing aren't the supposed unsophisticated-youngins' working their first job, traumatized by the horrors of working for a company who knows that you are utterly replaceable.

No the gossipers are the middle aged ladies with real jobs and children my age. Children, who, if put in my position on that day, would have angry mothers breathing hell fire. But since I am somehow less human then their flunky children I deserve much worse than I got, which was nothing. My boss sighed and asked me not to quit, apologized for something she had nothing to do with and accepted my apology for not handling it better. Since then with few exceptions work has been rather peaceful, the talking behind people's backs still runs rampant but I suppose that's just the nature of the beast.

Now, because the incident was with a lower manager and the gossiper is her equal I'm stuck. I either suffer through the my already painful job with the added bit of whispering and backstabbing or I quit. So, I'm going to quit.

And if I'm being honest, I'm not good at quitting. I've quit twice in my life, once after the managers decided that I was lying about being sick because I didn't sound sick (I'm polite enough not to take the phone to the bathroom with me) and the second time was my July 4th incident of this year (and that didn't stick).

I need you to hold me accountable. Keep me from going back to the lack of respect and the lack of pay. Today, the curmudgeons win. But I'm looking bigger picture here.

Flying Flags

Today as I drove to the most beloved Target for socks, which I didn't end up buying, I passed the outlet mall where two of the four sets of flags were at half-staff. This puzzled me for a few reasons: 1. not all four sets were lowered and 2. all the other flags I passed throughout my day were fully raised.

I could think of a few reasons for the flags to be lowered, Japan and Frank Buckles being the most obvious, but with none of the government flags down I was left to worry about the safety of the outlet mall.

Alright, alright you caught me, I wasn't worried about the outlet mall, I know that until the day I find a "real" job that mall will be just fine. But it is a reoccurring pattern and it is cause for alarm. I'm not heavy into traditions but I have some respect, and coming from a generation that is lost with and without them I feel that traditions need to be kept in place so that we can be anchored in something (reading Super Sad True Love Story may be influencing me a bit at this point). The lack of understanding, or caring, that the outlet mall has is, for lack of a better adjective, sad. Lazily raising the flag is piteous, management letting it fly, disgusting.

And before you suggest I do something about it, I have been considering how to go about this. The problem with the outlet mall is that it as an entity is evil. I am only exaggerating a little, the reality is mall management doesn't respect the people who work for them or the stores that keep them in jobs. The security guys do more chatting, smoking, spitting and eating than securing. The maintenance guys do their jobs more or less and fairly well at that, so why do they keep messing up the flags?

Tell me mall management, why?