The problem with movies and with films, and yes, I do see a distinction, is that they tend to speak to the times. Politically and socially relevant film speak the most to people, they move the most people and we the people pay to see them.
I love cinema almost as much as I love literature. They are both escapes but lately the movies are hitting me a little hard. I got drunk watching Casino Jack, though admittedly that was both a mistake and a bizarre occurrence in and of itself. I don't remember the movie being funny, just Kevin Spacey wearing trucker hats which is tragic rather than funny.
Bridesmaids made me sob with self-loathing. I mean I laughed. I laughed hard. I laughed so hard I cried but I also cried because the movie hit way to close to home. I thought for a moment that that movie would be the short break from my life and yet poof it's laid out in my lap for me to hold.
Now, sitting at home, I am watching The Company Men it is nauseating. Don't get me wrong, it's brilliant, it's beautiful, it rings so wonderfully true. And though I am not a middle-aged and up ex-exec I'm still gagging over the cruelty. It's too real, to close to home.
I can't stay awake through less serious movies. I can't sit though mindlessness. I'm on edge. I'm restless. I have no escape without books now. So I cling to them. I'm reading like I've never read before. I'm reading as if I were breathing the words. And the words sustain me.
Things aren't as bleak as they could be. But today while in an interview I looked a VP in the eye and confessed to here that I didn't want numbers I wanted words and I was swallowing my pride to take the ideas of numbers and make it a career. I am ecstatic about the opportunity and I am crying as I give up a dream.
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