My Voice

In every writing class, lit class or general English class I have taken since eighth grade there has been one message that has sprung up: As a writer you must find your voice.

Having read an infinite number of written works I can tell that it is more of a challenge for some people than it is for others. Those two-best-sellers-a-year novelists have voices so strong that their voice alone can carry an entire 700 page book. Some of the writers for the free, local newspaper struggle weekly, I can tell without having ever encountered these people in a writing capacity.

I have a voice. It's a bit of a unique thing, it can be very strong, boisterous and arrogant at times, and flat and weak at others. The potential problem with my voice is, and this is being written spur of the cuff, that like me my voice is sarcastic to hide any flaws, it is uncomfortable in more serious settings. My voice can fake it but, and from now on my voice has become its own entity, it knows that at any second the jig is up.

Just last night I was helping a friend create her wedding website, she asked me to make it lighter, and seeing as that is where I am most comfortable, I obliged. It is very funny and everything I wrote received her seal of approval but she was already putting down the comments about this type of laughable, lightness being frowned upon. I didn't waiver in my attempts at hilarity (which is by no means to say I am a comedy writer) but I do kind of worry that the things I say will make her look silly. One of our mutual friends read the site after I took hold of it and immediately knew that I had contributed to the site.

I am glad for the recognition of my voice. I am glad for the opportunity to lend my voice to a friend. But I'm afraid that my voice is going to close the lid of the little box I have created with it.

And it is that fear that has kept me from writing poetry for the last year. Tomorrow, because I am very tired tonight, I will sit down and write the way I used to do. I will literally put pen to paper and have at it until I am drained. I will keep this up whenever I have the time so that my voice grows. It has to be less scared among the adults. It has to stand in the sun without fear of being burned, even though some burning is inevitable.